BitSnark

After being rumoured for the better part of nearly half a year now, EA and Crytek have finally confirmed that a conversion of the seminal 2007 PC shooter Crysis, will be arriving on the 360 and PS3 in October.

October 2011 that is.

Boasting sandbox environments that it’s sequel sorely lacks, it was always thought that this would cause a conversion of the original Crysis to struggle on consoles. Indeed, with Crysis 2 being more ‘console-friendly’ by following a more linear, Call of Duty style of level design, it was always assumed that if the original Crysis did materialise on consoles that it would be pared back significantly in this regard and generally be, well, more than a bit shit.

Assume no more however dear reader and allay your fears, since alongside the announcement comes a trailer which shows the game in action on the consoles and it doesn’t disappoint.

Not at all.

Have a gander:

The game will be available as an XBLA/PSN title and will retail for 1600MSP/£16(?) respectively.

Now this is some cool shit. One particularly enterprising chap has managed to somehow fuse the innards of a PS3 and 360 console within a single PC case.

Yes, that is every bit as awesome as it sounds.

Have a look how the bright scamp managed to achieve this unholy union:

http://timofiend.blogspot.com/

Cool shit indeed.

It’s gotta be sexist too?

http://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2011-09-08-dead-island-developer-techland-disturbed-by-feminist-whore-skill

Oh man. I hope the coder in question enjoys unemployment.

The box for the forthcoming Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim Collector’s Edition is larger than the box that your console came in.

Utter madness:

http://images.eurogamer.net/assets/articles//a/1/3/9/7/4/2/7/ss_preview_cebox.jpg.jpg?slideshow=true

Before an alcohol-fuelled night out in most cases, if a game is to be played it generally tends to be something that is as brain-dead as it’s players will be by the end of the night. Gears Of War, Halo, Call Of Duty… the list goes on and on.

However, may I suggest to you my dear reader a slight change of pace. Rather than sticking your chainsaw in the orifice of the closest rock-skinned beastie, how about we try a bit of stealth for a bit? Y’know, work the angles, be one with the shadows… all that stuff.

Doesn’t sound like it would grab you, right? Well, it didn’t grab me either until I realised that the whole idea of *trying* to formulate the perfect stealth strategy is in fact a completely unachievable goal if the alcahol is casually flowing, which given the fact we’re talking about a pre-night out session here, it bloody well should be.

The fact that this noble goal is so far beyond the grasp of me when i’m sober, does little to discourage me or my friend in it’s futile pursuit. We go over the angles, the strategies, the chance of success, the optimum load out… everything.

Somehow, in our gradually pissed state of mind, we manage to convince each other that we know what we’re talking about, when in actual fact, the sober on-looker will see us for the intoxicated plebeians that we are.

I digress though; the experience is a great one, since there really is nothing like going split-screen with a mate, casually drinking your poison as the night wears on, only to see our meticulously crafted stealth strategies degrade (along with our awareness and reflexes) into loud, brash shotgun and assault rifle retard fests.

Indeed, I always imagine that the game must be pissing itself at our collective expense, as time after time, our sluggish reaction times and drunken impatience betray our floundering to the nearest security camera or guard with his back to us, as we fumble about like morphine addicted amputee burglars trying to break into a house.

At the end of the day, it’s all about trying to recreate that perfect stealth strategy and whilst it can never really be done, coming in sight of this goal by only alerting half of the guards in a given level and not ALL of them, nevertheless still manages to satisfy and entertain in equal measure.

So leave with this thought; not only does a good multiplayer sesh on Splinter Cell: Conviction provide a ready supply of laughs from game-faced piss-heads trying desperately to work their way around the levels without being seen, it also doubles up as an effective benchmark for just how shitfaced you really are.

Classic stuff.

Eurogamer has today confirmed that developer sessions from IO Interactive, the developers of the Hitman franchise, will take place on the Friday, Saturday and Sunday during their EG Expo, set to take place in the mammoth sized Earl’s Court One.

I for one will be quite interested to see how this new entry in Agent 47’s story turns out, but I won’t keep my hopes up especially since the devs pretty much dumped in my mouth with the Kane & Lynch games.

Y’know, cautious optimism and all that.

If you’ve been following Battlefield 3 for any length of time, you’ll know that the monster military FPS is launching with a number of different retailer exclusive purchase incentives.

While some retailers give you largely useless vain cack such as customisable dog tags, there are some that actually give you something useful – extra weaponary to kill shit with.

Specifically, GAME, Gamestation and Gameplay.co.uk offer the Physical Warfare Pack as an extra to the existing limited edition SKU which packs include the following goodies:

Type 88 LMG with bipod
Flechette Ammo for DAO-12 shotgun
Flash suppressor for SKS sniper rifle
Day One Access to the DAO-12 shotgun

Cool beans eh? Well, if you’re one of those who have pre-ordered the Physical Warfare Pack, look at the video below to see what you’ll be getting day one. If you didn’t, well, at least you can pre-emptively make your excuses for sucking now, rather than later.

As promised, Nintendo has made ten NES games free to download to 3DS ambassadors (folks, who bought the console before the price drop).

The ten free games that are available for download are:

Super Mario Bros.
Donkey Kong Jr.
Balloon Fight
Ice Climber
The Legend of Zelda
Wrecking Crew
Mario Open Golf
Mario & Yoshi
Metroid
Zelda: Adventures of Link

How do you get these lovely, free retro-treats you ask? It’s quite simple really just follow the instructions below:

1) Go into the eShop and scroll all the way to the left. Click on ‘Settings / Other’. Scroll down on that list and click on ‘Items You’ve Downloaded’ to see your download history.

2) Scroll past all the downloads you’ve made since you got your 3DS and you will come across the ten free NES games as listed above.

3) Click the ‘Re-download’ button on each one and repeat times ten.

And voila! Ten free NES games that you’ve probably played and completed countless times before are now yours.

Once you’ve grabbed all ten of these games, you will also find a little something called ‘Ambassador Certificate’. You’re going to want to download this, because whilst on first inspection it looks like a pointless as piss video, it actually has Notification functionality that will keep you updated on when the other ten games, those delicious GBA titles, will be available for the grabbing.

It really does.

Take a look disbeliever!