Random scribblings by a prick. Enjoy.

Archive for November 2011 – Taking Offence At Shit Games Journalism Everywhere…

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Annoyed with the state of videogames journalism these days? Pissed off by the general level of cretinous illteracy that plagues articles on every site from Kotaku to Eurogamer? Then take a look at; a choice selection of angrily pedantic meditations on the journalistic work and integrity of those who write about our favourite hobby.

Yes, the guy is a picky cunt, but he is also a funny picky cunt.

And also mostly right.


Written by bitsnark

November 22, 2011 at 1:48 pm

Grand Theft Auto V Trailer Arrives. Internet Dies.

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As predicted like some sort of apocalypse, the trailer for GTA V materialised right on time at 4:00PM GMT.

Apparently set in San Andreas, the trailer depicts a game that visually at least, is more of a refinement over GTA IV than a genuine leap forward. In terms of the main character, we’re kind of in the dark there but I have my suspicions that it’ll be tommy Vercetti from GTA: VC (check out @ 00:40 on the attached trailer).

What we also don’t know is the release date or the target platforms, but conventional wisdom would suggest that the usual suspects 360, PS3, PC and possibly WiiU, would be the likely destinations for the latest entry in Rockstar’s epic crime opus.

Take a look at the trailer below for yourself and see what you think.

Me? I think it looks fucking fantastic. More soon.

Written by bitsnark

November 2, 2011 at 4:16 pm

A Polite Public Service Message To A Small Subsect Of Call Of Duty Fanboys…

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As much as the next guy, I like to vary my gaming diet and to that end I can see that both games, Battlefield and Call Of Duty, offer wildly different multiplayer experiences. Yes, they both share a contemporary military setting, but in terms of gameplay and mechanics, they couldn’t be any further fucking apart if they tried.

One is a twitch-based shooter with a focus on minimal controller input latency, the other is a slower-paced affair, with expansive maps, tactics and vehicles.

Still with me?

We are all not built the same way.

Everybody should realise the simple and basic fact that some of us love Call of Duty, some of us love Battlefield and some of us actually enjoy both games. Both games offer very distinct, seperate experiences and shock horror; can actually co-exist alongside one another.

Who’d have thunk it?

Sure from a technical perspective, Battlefield 3 hasn’t had the best launch in the world; plagued by initial connectivity issues and problems with the shitty Origin client; we can safely say that it certainly wasn’t the launch that neither DICE or their EA overlords wanted.

Not by a long fucking shot.

Predictably, the BF-hating CoD miniority (and you guys are a miniority, since the vast majority of CoD players that I am familiar with can string a sentence together and don’t lick windows) jumped right on the bandwagon, decrying all sorts of fanboy, venom-laced garbage in attempt to drum it into our heads that we have somehow thrown ourselves in with the ‘wrong lot’ and that we shouldn’t be playing such an unfinished and (apparently) inferior product.


Let me say that i’m looking forward to getting my paws on Modern Warfare 3, but you intellectually barren cretins (again, the minority) had better hope it’s the most spotless, perfect, no problems whatsoever launch in the history of gaming. I’m expecting no connection issues, no patches, no unexpected server problems.


To fanboys of all creeds, I say this: Your reputation with regard to fanboyism not only precedes you, it turns you around, pulls down your trousers and kicks you hard in the balls.

I’d leave now before you run out of lube and the bumming begins to smart.


Written by bitsnark

November 2, 2011 at 12:11 pm

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