BitSnark

I can’t say I really expected much from Nier – it flew so far under the radar when it was released, that at some point or another i’m sure I had to wipe it off the bottom of my boot. Still though, the game receieved batches of isolated praise from a number of folks on various forums, due in no small part to the strength of the narrative and the size of the adventure on offer. Upon sticking the disc inside of my 360, begrudgingly accepted it seems as the drive didn’t want to close the first two times I told it to, the game boots up and we’re greeted by the usual white Square-Enix logo against a black background.

So far, so expected. What follows however, is not expected, not at all. What you then get is what most presumably be a line of dialogue from later in the game which involves the most liberal use of profanity that I have ever seen in Square-Enix (although Cavia developed) title. Indeed, you get to hear more profanity before you even get into the game, then you would have heard in Final Fantasy X, XII and XIII combined.

It’s this which sets the scene of what to expect from Nier. Nier is not a pretty game, in fact in a number of ways and on a number of levels, it’s downright fucking ugly. Take the characters for example; given the JRPG genre that Nier nestles itself into, you would expect the game to be filled to the sparkly brim with effeminate, long-haired boys and dainty, unassuming female waifs.

Not here. Not here at all. Instead, the main charcater is an old, grouchy, scar-laden bastard who even if you did catch him in his younger years would *still* be one ugly piece of work. Outside of the archetypal JRPG cardboard cutout characters (thankfully relegated to one-line giving NPC’s or side-quest providers on ocassion), the characters whilst ugly in both appearance and attitude, do come across in far more striking fashion than their contemporary peers – even more so when they are juxtaposed so vividly against the JRPG cutout-regulars that often surround them. A particular standout is the talking spellbook – who constantly unleashes an unending torrent of sarcasm and dry-wit in the direction of the player at every opportunity. In short, these guys are interesting and represent a collection of far more compelling personalities than what we’ve seen come out of the JRPG genre as of late.

A special mention have to go to the bosses too – ranging from massive, towering clockwork twin-knights to gargantuan cliff climbing mutant beasts which have seemingly snot covered skin and multiple swinging ‘appendages’.

The ugliness that permeates the game also extends to the visuals too. Drab, garish and with PS2-levels of detail at times, the game sometimes makes you forget what console you’re playing the damn thing on. Admittedly though, the game does have moments of beauty, or at least times when your eyes don’t want to hate you for subjecting them to it, but they are few and far between.

One thing which most assuredly isn’t ugly however, is the music. A mixture of soft vocals and gentle strings, it too is a departure from the usual J-Rock/Pop garbage that is such a distressing staple of JRPG presentation these days. Seriously good stuff.

Well, i’ve waffled at some length but how the game looks but how in the blue fark does it play? Well, Nier is a confused little game. A confused little game that like it’s visuals, has it’s roots in the generation of consoles that came before it.

The game plays very much like an action RPG in that it’s a free-roaming hack and slasher which allows you to augment your combat abilities with rangy spells and various JRPG stock items which heal, buff you and generally improve your character. Naturally, these items are found in crates and boxes in which, yep, you guessed it, you have to smash to retrieve the contents that have been so cleverly concealed therein.

Where the game does throw you a curveball however, is in the way it uses it’s camera to often strange effect; altering the dynamic of the game. For instance, given that the game is a JRPG, the last thing you would expect to be doing is platforming right? Well, I have had numerous occassions thus far where the game makes you do just that; locking the camera to a side on view – forcing you to jump across chasms and clamber over ledges to get to your objective. While this might seem fresh and inspired, the actual execution of it is poor since the character was never really designed to ‘platform’ and jumping (a basic and often unused action in the ‘meat’ of the game) makes these sections clunky and clumsy, making any watching passers-by wonder if you are playing some sort of low-budget indie-developed platform game.

Fighting, ah yes, the fighting. Annoyingly when you fight enemies there is no camera lock that you can use to stay focused on a foe and circle around it effectively. Instead, you have to manipulate the eye-scratchingly silly manual camera system that the game employs in order to avoid your opponents attacks and somehow end up in a decent position where you can strike back in a timely fashion. Indeed, the best solution I found to this was to simply roll around like a moron so that you pretty much 95% of time end up out of trouble and on the vulnerable side of your foes. Again though, camera issues rear their ugly sodding head, since you are always required to keep the camera manually focused on your enemies yourself.

These sorts of finger gymnastics shouldn’t be part of the JRPG experience, but, as you have surely noted by now, developers Cavia probably couldn’t give two-shits about signing from the JRPG hymn sheet. Still though, the admission of this most basic of gameplay mechanics is downright silly and annoying in equal measure regardless.

In terms of the actual gameplay structure – fewer surprises remain in store. You know the drill right? You show up in a town, you do a few side-quests to get some sort of reward (although side-quest rewards only come in the form of items and money and not the receiving of XP as is the norm) and then you toddle off and do a number of quests which tie into the overarching plot and serve to push it forward.

While the side-quests themselves are largely forgettable (and in a couple of cases, completely hair yankingly frustrating) the main quests are fairly involving and serve to move the game’s narrative forward (which while soild so far no doubt has many surprises in store). They too follow a familar path; you reach an area, you plunder the fuck out of it, kill some regular mobs and then fight a boss at the end.

At the end of the day there is just something about Nier; I don’t know if it’s the promise of the story flourishing into a more compelling narrative with such intriguing or just that as a whole it is off-kelter just enough to keep my interest.

So far, Nier seems like it is somehow greater than the sum of it’s decidedly undercooked parts and as a result, it’s an odyssey I think i’ll perservere with. Oh and for the record, in case you play the game, the side-quests for the package delivery to the Aerie and the Boar Hunt are the most frustrating thing I have come across in quite some time.

Nier is available for PS3 and Xbox 360 and can be found as cheaply as £8 online.

From what appears to be a closed beta session, roughly ninety minutes of EA’s forthcoming great white MMORPG hope, Star Wars: The Old Republic, has been leaked online via JustinTV.

I’d be quick on clicking the link below, since it can’t be long until EA discovers it and takes it down.

http://www.justin.tv/archive/archive_popout?id=285836649

In order to spice things up on this blog a tad and to widen the scope of it beyond being just a news blog, i’ll be posting what i’ve called ‘In The Drive’ articles.

Essentially these are abridged impressions of whatever game I happen to be playing at the moment – an overextended brainfarty meditation if you will on the cool and not-so-cool aspects of whatever happens to be In The Drive (see what I did there? *slow clap*) at the time.

Hopefully you’ll enjoy them and find them an engaging read and if not tell me why so I can take in/ignore your suggestions as appropriate.

Microsoft has today dropped the details and price points for the limited and ‘Epic’ (read: super duper limited) editions of the forthcoming third person chainsaw-shooter fest that is Gears of War 3.

The official press release can be seen below in all it’s PR glory:

“Gears of War 3” Epic and Limited Editions Unveiled in Making Gears 3: Inside the Wicked Workshop
Epic Games Art Director Chris Perna takes you into the creative process in shaping “Gears of War 3” and the ultimate fan collectibles

London — 16 May, 2011 — Fans around the globe are strapping on their boots, loading up their Lancers, and gearing up for the worldwide launch of “Gears of War 3” on 20th September, 2011. Adding fuel to the fire, Epic Games and Microsoft today released a brand new developer ViDoc, entitled Making Gears 3: Inside the Wicked Workshop, divulging the exclusive contents of the “Gears of War 3” Epic and Limited Editions.

The new video goes behind the scenes with Epic Games Art Director Chris Perna, giving fans a window into the mind of the visionary artist who helped berth some of gaming’s most iconic characters and settings.

In this revelation, Perna unveils the centrepiece of the “Gears of War 3” Epic Edition – a hand-crafted statue of Marcus Fenix, designed by his own hand and brought to life by the expert artisans at Triforce. Available for pre-order now, “Gears of War 3” will be available in a Standard Edition (£49.99), and two special editions:

· Limited Edition (£59.99) available at selected retailers – The must-have for fans who want to celebrate the culmination of the trilogy, the Limited Edition includes:
o An Octus Award Box with Octus Service Medal – A 1:1 match in size and weight, this zinc-alloy cog-shaped medal replicates the award given to Adam Fenix in recognition of his work on the Hammer of Dawn.

§ Dimensions: 77 mm (3 in.) x 10 mm (0.4 in.)

o Exclusive Unlockable Adam Fenix Multiplayer Character – Each Octus Service Medal replica is engraved with a unique Xbox LIVE code that is the only way to unlock Adam Fenix in multiplayer.
o A fabric COG Flag – Proud colors that once flew above the House of Sovereigns.
o The personal effects of Adam Fenix, including his “Last Will and Testament,” the initial Hammer of Dawn schematic, and other Fenix family mementos.

· Epic Edition (£99.99) available exclusively at GAME and Gamestation – The ultimate collection for hardcore fans who can’t get enough “Gears of War 3,” the Epic Edition includes:
o A Limited Edition Marcus Fenix Statue – Designed by Epic Games Art Director Chris Perna and expertly crafted by the artisans at Triforce, this fine PVC statue collectible makes the ultimate living room centrepiece for any true “Gears” fan.
§ Dimensions: height 285 mm (11.2 in.), diameter 225 mm (8.9 in.).
§ Weight: 1.7 kg (3.7 lb.)
o The Art and Design of Gears of War by Tom Bissell – Through unprecedented access to the Epic Games team, acclaimed author Tom Bissell (Extra Lives) gives readers an incisive behind-the-scenes glimpse into one of the most celebrated sagas in video game history with 96 pages of interviews, photos, concept artwork and more.
o Infected Omen Weapon Pack — Custom multiplayer skins for the game’s five starting weapons; Lancer, Retro Lancer, Hammerburst, Sawed-off Shotgun, and Gnasher Shotgun.
o All the contents of the “Gears of War 3” Limited Edition.

The “Gears of War 3” Limited Edition and Epic Edition are the only ways to obtain these high-end collectibles and downloadable content. With production values worthy of the most discerning fans, the “Gears of War 3” Epic Edition is available in very limited quantities and only while supplies last.

For additional information on “Gears of War 3,” please visit gearsofwar.xbox.com.”

Are these limited editions appealing to anybody, or, will the budget concious prevail?

After the remake-tastic-awesomeness that was the God of War collection – an HD-ification (oh yeah, i’m all about the murdering of the English language today) of the PS2’s premier action titles God Of War and God of War 2, a leak from Sony Taiwan appears to confirm that the two God of War titles for the PSP, are also PS3 bound as well.

Like the God of War Collection, this remastering of the famed PSP titles will boast increased resolutions and enhanced graphics according to gaming website Magic Box.

No Western release date has been confirmed as of yet, but as soon as I hear something I will update this article.

And also, BASTARDS; I only just finished Ghost of Sparta on PSP this past weekend…

Indeed the Soul still burns.

That bastard isn’t ever going to flicker out is it? Especially now that at their Dubai event, Namco Bandai have confirmed that a fifth entry in their famed weapon-based fighter series, Soul Calibur, is in the works.

Details are predictably sparse and the inevitably the company hype machine is operating in maximum vagueness mode, promising “Various elements of the battle system have been improved and new elements added to make the game more exciting, alongside online and character creation features being expanded.”

What we do know for sure, is that the game is supposedly a direct continuation from Soul Calibur IV which is set some seventeen years later. A number of fighters from the series past will return, alongside the expected flood of new warriors including the main character, Patroklos, son of Sophitia Alexandra, upon whom the story will be primarily based.

The PR blurb reads:

“Soul Calibur V is set to advance the series’ legacy of white-knuckled weapon-based combat, beautiful graphics and groundbreaking features, entrancing newcomers and long-time fans alike,”.

“The tale of Patroklos, son of Sophitia Alexandra, unfolds as his family’s destiny intertwines with the Soul swords. With the series revolutionary 8-way run, allowing for true 3D movement during matches, a refined battle system, and stunning graphics, Soul Calibur V will be the top game of 2012 for anyone looking for a knock-down, drag-out fight.”

More details, including what I would hope is some actual gameplay, will be shown at E3. In the meantime be satisfied with this teaser trailer that pretty much tells you bugger all about the game:

In what seems like an absolute fucking age, mega-publisher Square-Enix has finally announced the fifth title in the Hitman franchise, Hitman: Absolution.

Apparently now done dicking around with making sub-standard, cliched and visual gimmickery laden third person shooters, those talented bods at IO Interactive are back to doing what they do best; making Hitman games and making them good.

Not much is known other than the name, year of release and destination platforms but Square-Enix have at least released this teaser trailer to get us all amped up about their latest thinking man’s murder simulator.

Hitman: Absolution will release in 2012 on PC, 360 and PS3 platforms. The last Hitman title, Hitman: Blood Money was released back in 2006.

Teaser trailer goodness can be seen below:

Roll on E3 where hopefully we’ll hear more details regarding the game.

Yeah, didn’t quite make sense to me either; especially the price that was paid: A cool $8.5 billion.

Still though, MS are promisng that Skype users can speak to Xbox Live users and vice-versa, although the company was coy on how it would integrate with Kinect.

“Skype is a phenomenal service that is loved by millions of people around the world. Together we will create the future of real-time communications so people can easily stay connected to family, friends, clients and colleagues anywhere in the world.”

So says Microsoft’s Steve Ballmer.

More soon.

And so the world cried. Indeed it is true. At their annual earnings conference call today, publishing powerhouse Electronic Arts confirmed that the highly anticipated final chapter in the (current?) Mass Effect trilogy has been delayed until the first three months of 2012 on all formats.

No specific date has been given for the title.

Chris Priestly posted the following message in the Bioware official forums:

“Today we have confirmed that Mass Effect 3 will be released in the first three months of 2012. The development team is laser focused on making sure Mass Effect 3 is the biggest, boldest and best game in the series, ensuring that it exceeds everyone’s expectations.”

Ah fuck.

With Patch 4.1 barely being live for more than a day, Blizzard have decided to pull the curtain back and show us the content we were meant to get yesterday, but alas, we all sucked far too much to make it happen.

Anyways, self-depreciation aside, you can see the trailer for Patch 4.2: The Firelands by clicking the link below:

BY FIRE BE PURGED! Etc.