BitSnark

So, the most interesting bit of news to come out so far today is that Skyrim, the fifth entry in the long-ass running Elder Scrolls RPG franchise, has been given a ‘mature’ rating by the US Ratings Board.

In their assessment of the Nordic influenced RPG, the board spewed forth the following choice bits:

“This is a fantasy role-playing game in which players assume the role of Dovakin, a prophesied figure with the power to combat dragons in the fictional world of Skyrim,”.

“As players traverse through mountainous open-world environments, they complete missions and quests that impact the eventual fate of their character. Players use swords, bows and arrows, axes, and magic attacks (e.g., fireballs, ice shards) to kill various enemies (e.g., wolves, dragons, human bandits and soldiers).

“As players engage in melee-style combat, some sequences are highlighted by slow-motion effects, particularly for decapitations. Large blood-splatter effects also occur during combat, and some environments are stained with blood or body parts (e.g., heads impaled on spikes). Some sequences allow players to injure/kill nonadversary characters, including prisoners chained to a wall; they scream in pain amid splashes of blood or fire.

“As the game progresses, the dialogue and on-screen text contains references to sexual material (e.g., “. . . all the whores your heart, or any other organ, desires,” “She . . . raped the men as cruelly as Bal had ravished her,” and “Remember when you thought [he] was . . . intent on making you . . . into his personal sex slave?”).

“Alcohol such as wine, mead, and ale can be purchased and consumed by players’ character throughout the game; and in one sequence, players can engage in a drinking contest with another character, which eventually results in slurred speech (e.g., “One more. No problemsh . . . Thash grape!”).”

So, we have druken behaviour, rape, violence, sex slaves, lots of ice, dragons and whole bunch of other nasty shit just waiting to tear the player to pieces in the most inventive way possible.

In case this hasn’t dawned on you yet, this is in fact BRILLIANT.

Why? Because now, I can now fully act out my own personal Game of Thrones TV series within the confines of Bethesda’s grim, Nordic-inspired world which would thankfully be free of that annoying little trollmuppet Joffrey.

Oh and as a parting gift, lest we forget that Bethesda are no stranger to ‘mature’ content in their Elder Scrolls games as the screenie below proves:

Crack open a cold one indeed.